Thoughts on Lady Gaga. No, really.
Lady Gaga released the video for a new song a few days ago and I thought I’d take this opportunity to share a few thoughts about ‘The Artist Formerly Known as Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta’. Her ‘oeuvre’ is not strictly my type of music, but at least it makes a change from discussing VCS3 synthesisers and mellotrons, or whatever it is I usually write about.
I first started hearing about Lady Gaga about a year ago. This was more through cultural osmosis, because I don’t really engage with ‘Down-With-The-Kids’ media channels anymore. I half-read the occasional article about her on Gawker though. I gathered she was a singer, but you would hardly know it, as all the discussion was about her outlandish clothing.
Whilst every sane person on the planet began complaining about having her song Poker Face blasted into their lugholes from every functioning loudspeaker, I had to actively go to Spotify to listen to it. I soon realised why all the attention was paid to her dress sense: it’s because there was nothing in her music worth talking about. It wasn’t so much bad as it was mediocre. It just sounded like a very generic modern dance/pop song. Without an accompanying glossy music video or provocative stage routine, the famed Poker Face offered little of any interest.
Glutton for punishment that I am, I recently rushed off to YouTube to see her latest offering, ‘Telephone’. For those who haven’t seen it, it’s a 3’40’’ song spread out over a 9’30’’ video. Perhaps she thought that constantly interrupting the song with a “story” would distract from the fact that it sounds like something Madonna would have done a decade ago. The video looks like one of Quentin Tarantino’s fever-dreams too.
With nothing musical of any value, The Empress will have to keep on wearing new clothes, or she’ll become invisible. However, in her attempts to constantly outdo herself sartorially, she’ll probably end up wearing a boiler suit made out of weasels and get ripped to shreds on the already red carpet.